


Two Feet Between, and Miles Across

by Daxiefraxie



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Mutual Pining, Trans Female Character, a2 has ptsd and she's not handling it that well, not explicitly but the implication is textual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:40:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28974528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daxiefraxie/pseuds/Daxiefraxie
Summary: 2B didn't have breath to catch, but she still paused at the top of the ladder. A2 would have assumed she was taking in the view, but a glance over her shoulder showed those two grey-blue eyes trained on her. A2 turned back around, facing the empty city. "No visor," she said."I've spent too long blindfolded." 2B sat down next to the other android. "It's nice to see everything how it is, now. Not to trick myself, or believe the world that someone else feeds to me."A2 and 2B make up for lost time in a world without YoRHa.
Relationships: 2B/6O (NieR: Automata), 2B/A2 (NieR: Automata), 6O/A2 (NieR: Automata)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler warning for ending E.
> 
> Content warning for a brief depiction of blood.

The watchtower was safe. Or, the implication of safety. Something like five stories off the ground, nothing to obstruct her view for a mile in every direction, and a thin ladder as the only entrance or exit. It wouldn't have been easy to get the drop on A2 anyway, to slip between the sharp nerves of the sleepless android, to catch her in a rare moment where paranoia didn't threaten to throttle her sense of reality. The comfort – such as it was – provided by her location did ease those tensions. She wouldn't need much to spot an intruder.

But it seemed her midnight guest wasn't much inclined towards secrecy.

2B didn't have breath to catch, but she still paused at the top of the ladder. A2 would have assumed she was taking in the view, but a glance over her shoulder showed those two grey-blue eyes trained on her. A2 turned back around, facing off the side of the watchtower. "No visor," she said.

"I've spent too long blindfolded." 2B sat down next to the other android. "It's nice to see everything how it is, now. Not to trick myself, or believe the world that someone else feeds to me."

"Hm." A2 rolled her neck, her joints popping and hissing at the movement. "What do you want?"

"It's been a while," she said, as if that would answer. "I guess, I thought we could catch up."

A2 couldn't help but laugh, glancing at the Pod floating next to 2B. "I'm sure your buddy could tell you everything you missed, after I–" Blood on the blade, red, that shade stained into her mind across a monochrome picture. A2 pulled one leg in towards her chest, the other dangling off the side of the watchtower.

"He already has." 2B reached up, fingertips brushing against her Pod, and he slowly floated down into her arms, the way a small animal might press themselves against their mother. "And besides, I remember a lot more myself than you might think."

"How's that?" The words left her lips before she could stop them. A2 didn't feel particularly curious, it wasn't her business, but 2B pulled at...something, in her. A want. Maybe a want to know. Something like that.

2B was quiet for a time, staring out at the dark city and those far off stars shimmering in the night sky. "I used to be a scanner model, if you weren't aware." There was something like a smile, and a tension, in her voice. A2 refused to confirm either by sight. "That's where my black box is from, originally. But it didn't stick. To be honest, I hated it." A momentary fluctuation, and then her tone was steady again. "I convinced the Commander to repurpose me, I was pretty desperate for that. I thought it was better a murder than a scanner, I guess." She gestured to herself with one hand, the other still holding her Pod. "I can't exactly hack much as a Type-E, but I still know my way around a YoRHa system. A few tricks, here and there. How our tech worked. Like, for example, what sort of data could be stored in a blade."

A2 was smart enough to pick up the implication. "It wasn't just your memories in that sword, was it?"

"Got it in one." 2B laughed, and something in A2 tripped. A momentary flicker, like an odd palpitation through a valve of some sort. A sudden tightness in her chest. And then it was gone. "I couldn't see everything, YoRHa wasn't in the habit of putting very many sensors into their weapons, but I could see enough."

"You were watching me the whole time," A2 concluded, her fingers tightening against her arms.

A pause, or a hesitation. "Not the whole time." Softer in tone than an android should have ever been. "I looked away a lot, too. Not shame, but it felt wrong to linger, sometimes."

This time, it was A2 who could find nothing to fill the space between their words.

"I like this better," 2B said, after a time. "Talking with you, not just watching." She laughed again. "It's kind of funny. When I couldn't talk to you, I had so much I wanted to say, but now that I can...it's like I just don't know where to start."

"At the beginning." The simple statement seemed to catch 2B off guard, so A2 continued. "Good a place to start as any."

"Hm." 2B kicked her feet off the side of the tower. "At the beginning. What would you say that was, for us?"

"Probably when I murdered a machine and then tried to kill you," A2 replied.

2B chuckled – A2 wasn't sure why. "Right, of course."

"Why?" A little curiosity. Genuine, if not small. "Would you have said something else?"

"I suppose," 2B said, slowly, "for me, it would have been when I gave you my sword. When I decided to trust you." She paused. "I don't ever think I had a chance to thank you for that. Saving my life, and carrying on my wish."

"You didn't have a choice," A2 fired back. "You shouldn't be thanking me for something like that. You were desperate, and I was there. That's all."

"But you _were_ there." 2B scooted closer, and A2 froze. The android hesitated. "Is this alright?"

"Do what you want."

"I want you to be comfortable." Another smile, as honest as an android's could seem. "I want you to trust me; it doesn't have to be now, but I do want that."

"I trust you." The words came a struggle, but they left her lips without effort. "I don't trust myself, around you. I'm broken, all the bits of me don't fit together right, and everything I do hurts people. If you get close, you're just going to wind up the same way. Damaged, or dead again, or worse."

2B didn't say anything, for a while. She opened her arms, gently pushing her Pod back into the air, out of her embrace. "You told me to do what I want to?"

A2 sighed. "Sure. Not like I can stop you from being an idiot."

"Good." A hand on A2's chin, turning her head enough for 2B to press her lips against hers. Sharing a mimicry of breath, the box in her chest pulsing out a quick and steady rhythm. 2B's lips were softer than A2 would have thought, and she looked beautiful, up close like this, her eyes half-closed and deeper than the sky. She reached up, gripping 2B's arm, kissing her back with an unfamiliar hunger. Not quite bloodlust, that fury let loose in combat. But an ache in her, somewhere deep, an emptiness she so desperately wanted to fill with her, with this moment.

For all her hesitation, A2 couldn't find it in herself to pull away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Title is lifted from the lyrics of Nomu, by Good Kid)
> 
> Another self-indulgent femslash suggestion from Tumblr. I know I've been bouncing around a lot in my oneshots, but it's been hard for me to focus on just one interest. Super distractable, though I should be back to normal before too long.
> 
> [Speaking of Tumblr, here's mine.](https://myosotis-horizon.tumblr.com/)


	2. Chapter 2

"Where's 9S?" No one had said a word about him since she arrived, the resistance camp was a bed of silence and he was the odd one out. Even in this room, alone with 2B, A2 couldn't get away from his absence. From the bed at the other side of the room that must have been his. And that was assuming A2 could let go of what she did to him.

She couldn't.

"Not here," 2B said. They were face to face on her bed, lying on their sides. 2B traced a pattern onto the mattress with her off hand, the other tucked under her head.

"I can see that." A2 expected the words to leave sharp, but they tasted dull in her mouth. They sounded softer than she was. "But where is he?"

"I don't know. I haven't looked." 2B was quiet for a time. "He left of his own accord. Wherever he is now, he doesn't want to be found."

His black pod, powerless and slumped on one of the resistance tables. Such a wide berth, like respect for a corpse. "And his pod?"

"That was his doing." 2B let out a long breath, like the quiet hiss of a steam valve. "Like I said, he doesn't want to be found."

Hacking his own pod to cover his tracks. What the fuck had A2 done–

Rapid, excited knocking on the door. A2 flinched. "2B, come look! I think we fixed the coms between us and Pascal's village, we should be able to talk to them now!" The excited voice of that operator, 2B's _favorite_.

"I'll be out in a moment," 2B called. A laugh in her voice. Like a rusted nail sticking out of a flowerbed.

"I should go. You know where to find me." A2 turned, making to stand, and 2B grabbed her wrist.

"Wait." Grey eyes staring into her. Like a sea of fog. "You could stay here, I won't be long. I don't...want you to go."

"You have her." A2 pulled her arm away, stood up, massaging her wrist. 2B's touch hadn't hurt, she was eternally far more gentle than A2 deserved, but something about it felt agonizing. As if it had burned away skin she did not have. "What do you need me for?"

"Is that what you think this is?" Why did it ached so much to hear that odd, awful tone in her voice? 2B swung her legs off the bed, and A2 forced herself not to flinch away. "Do you think I'm ashamed of you? That I only want you around so long as I can hide away with you, and pretend you don't exist when we're not together? Do you think I'm faking at–" A2 didn't want to hear what came next.

"No. I don't know. Probably not, but it doesn't matter." A2 sighed, arguing with her would have been pointless even if A2 knew what she was trying to say. "I don't deserve to be here, and you deserve better than me."

"Stop, just stop." 2B stood.

A2 took a step back, farther away, a safe distance between them. She wouldn't meet the other android's eyes, but she felt them on her, like reading her circuitry from afar.

2B didn't step closer, but she extended a hand across the distance. Open, palm up. "I love you," she said. "I want you to stay."

A2 could have winced, could have cried, like humans cried. "You love her. You don't need me."

"Please," 2B begged – that was what this was, wasn't it? "That's not fair to me, or her, or you." A silence that suited worse than a scream. "You're better than that."

Crimson welling up in her like so many tears, and she grabbed 2B by the collar of her dress and slammed her back against the wall. "You haven't seen me at my worst," she snarled. Low, almost inarticulate. "You don't know what I've done. Every drop of blood on me is a stain and I have nothing left but red." It felt natural, that rage. Fury that burned hotter than the eternal sun. Fury that should have melted away the other's cold exterior. 

But 2B did not move. She stared at A2, her back against the wall. There was something in her expression...was it pity? "You're shaking," she whispered.

A2 blinked. Her hand shuddered on 2B's collar. She held it there, like grabbing onto a searing coal. Why did it hurt? Was it the distance, the implication? The look in 2B's eyes. "You don't know what I've done," she repeated.

"I don't need to." 2B reached a hand up. Fingertips along A2's cheek, then her forehead, then so gently through her hair. And she smiled. "You're growing it out again, aren't you? I don't know that it matters, but I do like your hair this short." Hand resting gently on the back of A2's neck. "I can see your face – your eyes – better, when it's not in the way." She was breathing odd. 2B pressed her lips together, then opened them again. Like she was searching for something.

It was 'want,' wasn't it? A2 knew it. She knew it so well.

"Do you love me?" 2B said. A question that could not carry farther than the room, then the space between them.

"I don't know," A2 said. The words came almost choked. She pried her fingers off 2B's collar, but 2B reached up, holding her hand there. "I don't know."

"Do you want to love me?"

A2 was on the verge of repeating her response, but something else left her lips. "I want to kiss you. I...don't know if I can let go enough to love you. I don't know that I have what you want. I don't know if I ever will." She breathed, and she felt 2B's breath. Were they closer now? Who had closed the distance? "I want to kiss you again. I want to...feel you."

2B was quiet. Staring at her, into her eyes. Holding her there with that gaze. "If you could have me," she said, "would you only want me if I had you and you alone?"

"What are you asking me?" A2 knew, she knew but she had to hear it. She had to hear it from her lips.

"Hm." 2B leaned in, and A2's breath caught, but 2B merely rested her forehead against the other android, eyes closed. "You were half right, before. I do love 6O, very very much." Before A2's heart could ache out another melody, 2B opened her eyes. "But I need you. Desperately, A2. I need..." Inhalation, unsteady. Exhalation, eclipsed with that same want. "Not half, or some, or an idea of you. I need you, as you are. Red and all. I would have it no other way."

Their lips were so close now. Inches, maybe. It was hard to tell. Something was thudding in A2's head, a deafening drumbeat in her ears. Her lips were dry, and she swallowed. "If I could have you," she whispered, "as you are. As much as you're willing to give. It's not...perfect, maybe. But I think I could be satisfied."

"Then," a giggle behind her breath, "what are you waiting for?"

There was something A2 had been holding. A spring wound tight, somewhere in her chest. And when she kissed 2B, hungry as she had before, deep and...loving, maybe; it unwound. Like so much tension, so much weight, dropped away. A2 was imperfect, she knew this. Broken and stained. But for the first time in a long while, she _was_ satisfied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to AstralSnugs for helping to convince me to add another chapter to this story. Might not have been your intention, but honest interest sparks inspiration for me like nobody's fucking business. So, thank you for that. I really enjoyed picking this up again.
> 
> Can't promise this story will continue, or that I'll write much more Nier Automata anytime soon, but I do love this game and knowing people enjoy this silly little story about gay traumatized robots? Kinda makes me wanna write more haha. I think any future writing will be a part of this vague AU, and I definitely have some seedling ideas I might want to explore. If there's anything in particular that you all want to see, I'd be interested to know. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this.
> 
> [You can also throw a message at my Tumblr and see what sticks.](https://myosotis-horizon.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter 3

The flowers were blooming. A2's sensors told her the air here, halfway into the dustbowl, far from the camp, was not suitable for life. Yet, there was life here. Little five-petal blue things, pale, with a small yellow ring at its center.

"Oh!" A2 flinched at the excited voice, and thankfully 6O was smart enough to not invade her space. The operator leaned over next to her, gazing down at the little resilient plants. "I didn't take you for the kinda girl who stopped and smelled the flowers."

"I'm not smelling them–" A2 protested, but she cut herself off. It was a figure of speech, she knew that, she was just arguing for the sake of obstinance.

"They're pretty, right?" 6O bent down, brushing a ponytail behind her ear. "Wildflowers like this aren't usually this healthy." She ran her fingers beneath the petals, so gentle. She was good at touching, A2 supposed. Operation required that of you. Hands made for precision, not for bloodshed. "I wonder if someone around here is taking care of them."

"If they are," A2 said, "then we should leave them alone." She let out a careful breath. "Wouldn't want to mess with their work."

"That's kinda sweet of you." 6O glanced over her shoulder, giving an odd little smile.

"Just common sense," she fired back, "not to go around doing things that might piss people off." People. Why did she say people? People as in a small clunky machine that might yell at her, until she could chase them off? Or people as in something violent, vindictive, something armed and stained and willing to kill?

Was she more scared of hurting, or being hurt?

6O giggled. "Sure, but I still think it's sweet. Even if it's for selfish reasons, being nice is still nice." She turned back to the flowers, cooing to them as one might to an infant.

A2 didn't have anything further to say to that. She let her gaze wander across the distant dunes, scanning farther than her eyes could see until the horizon blurred together detail into nothing, until she could no longer pick apart the sand from itself, the bones of distant structures like enormous beasts of worn steel and rusted iron.

"Hey, A2. Don't move."

"Hm?" A2 glanced back, just in time for 6O's hand to slip past her face. Fingertips parting her hair–

A2 stumbled back, breath like lead in her lungs, one hand back on the hilt of her blade. No, no no no, stop just fucking stop. She forced her motion to still. Not quite able to let go, but she wouldn't let herself attack someone like 6O. Someone that fucking harmless. That innocent.

6O herself, seemingly unperturbed by the potential of violence, was pouting, her arms crossed. "Come onnn," she whined, "I told you not to move. It's a good thing I managed to slip that back there before you pushed me away."

"Slip..." A2's other hand went up towards her ear. Her fingertips met something soft, something unexpected, and she froze.

"Apparently that was a tradition in the old world," 6O said, arms still crossed but a little smile on her face. "People used to wear flowers like that, behind their ear, to show if they were available or not."

A2 quirked an eyebrow.

6O burst out laughing at the expression, and A2 swallowed her irritation. "Like, dating-wise!" She motioned to her own right ear. "Flower behind this ear meant you're up for grabs." And her left. "And behind this one means you're not interested."

She'd tucked the flower behind A2's left. "So, I'm not interested." She'd meant it as a question, but it didn't quite sound like it.

"I assumed you weren't. Thought it might be easier on you, if that was the case. You wouldn't have to break as many hearts like that." A little, knowing giggle. "I mean, didn't you turn down 13O the other day when she asked you out? You were really nice about it, but you made it pretty clear you weren't up for that."

What was she talking about? Wait...A2 blinked. "She asked me to escort her to the abandoned factory for sightseeing. How is that anything like what you're talking about?"

6O snorted with laughter, doubled over and holding her sides. "How are all you combat units this clueless!?" She wiped her cheek with one finger, like she'd laughed enough to make herself cry. "A2, you know all the girls are talking about you, right? You're handsome, and mysterious, and a real gentlewoman–"

"I'm not gentle," A2 replied. Her sword's hilt dug into her hand, and she pried her fingers loose. "And _handsome_ , really?"

"Attractive, then!" 6O threw her arms up, grinning. "Plus, even when you're cold to people, you're not an asshole about it. It's just like you're being careful; people can tell the difference." She giggled again. "Face it, A2. You've got a reputation around camp as a real lady-killer." And the smile left her mouth. "Shit. I mean...that's not what I–"

"Doesn't matter." A2 sighed, hand up through her hair on instinct. Her fingers brushed against the flower. She wanted to pluck it out, undo the gift, return it as if it would erase the sentiment. But she didn't.

6O stared at the ground, arms down and hands clasped together, like an apology without words. The silence between them could fill the desert.

A2 didn't expect to be the one to break it. "What do you mean, that I'm being careful?"

"Huh?" 6O glanced up, blinking fast.

A2 sighed. "You said that people know the difference when someone is cruel or careful. Why do you think I'm careful?" Maybe she was just curious, or maybe she was looking for something to pick apart. Some reason to hate herself again, to justify being the pariah that came so easy to her.

6O seemed to consider her words carefully. "Well," she said, slowly, "you make it pretty clear you're not comfortable being around people. Whenever anyone gets close, you always shy away, but you never lash out. Like, I haven't seen you so much as say something mean, even when someone gets _really_ up in your space."

The feeling of A2's hand on 2B's collar. She massaged her wrist, like that might soothe away the memory.

The operator turned back to the flowers, swaying back and forth like she was dancing with the dust, with the shadows. Dancing to her own song. "It's like you're just really scared of hurting anyone. Or, maybe being hurt?" 6O's voice was soft, and warm, and kind, and she must not have seen the way those words tore through A2's ribcage. "I was honestly really surprised when you asked me to come walk with you today. I was kinda under the impression you hated me."

"You just don't need me." A2 shrugged. "Someone like you doesn't need someone like me." Probably, no one needed someone like her.

6O laughed. Short, and quiet, and it trailed off at the end. "That's a new one, I think."

"What is?" she asked.

"I'm pretty used to be pushed away," 6O replied, "but people usually don't ever want to tell me why. Or, if they do, they say I did something wrong, or that they just don't like being around me." She hummed a few notes of a quiet melody. "First time I've been pushed away by someone who says it's for my sake."

A2 blinked. She felt it then, reflected across all those specs of dirt in the air, like sun through glass. "You're lonely."

6O didn't say a thing. But the silence spoke louder than her words ever could. 

"I didn't know–" A2 began.

"I know you only asked me to come out here so you could look for 9S." 6O knelt down, hugging her knees in towards her chest. "If you asked anyone else, they'd call you out on it, or try to stop you. But you assumed I wouldn't notice." There was almost a smile in her voice, as she swept a ponytail back over her shoulder. "I almost didn't, too. I really am kinda dumb like that."

What could she say? Sorry? Was she, actually? Or did she just want the android to stop hurting so fucking loudly? A2 glanced towards the desert. It was far. She could start walking, and 6O wouldn't be able to get back to camp before A2 was too far for anyone to ever catch up. She had all of eternity out before her to comb that place for 9S, to find whatever lay past it, where the sand ended. Some of the scanners said it was just more ocean out there, but she could see it for herself, trace the curvature of the earth with her own eyes the way she hadn't done in years, not since she left the bunker.

She could die out there, and no one would ever find her.

A2 walked closer to the flowers, and crouched down. She wrapped her fingers around a stem – fingers for killing, for gouging, not for touching – and plucked it from the thin dirt. "You're not alone. Lonely, maybe, but not alone." And when 6O turned towards her, she reached out, slipping it behind the operator's left ear. "You've got people that love you, you know. 2B for one. And...yeah." A2 shrugged. "You're lovely. Or, lovable. Whatever the word. I guess I don't get why people don't see that in you."

6O stared at A2. A hand up against the cheek A2 had brushed, as if pressing the lingering touch there, trying to keep it from escaping. "Um," she said. Her cheeks were very red. "You...put it behind the wrong ear?"

"Oh?" A2 couldn't stop from smiling. "I wasn't aware you and 2B were both–"

"I mean," 6O babbled, words spilling out over words, "I mean uh, I guess, it's not like that for everyone? S-sometimes, um, in the old world, people would switch ears? Like, when they're around someone...they were..." She swallowed hard, absolutely refusing to make eye contact.

A2 blinked. "I didn't know that." She reached up, fingers against the flower tucked behind her own ear. Carefully, she moved it out, and around, back behind her right ear. "Like this?"

"Yeah," 6O said, sounding almost breathless. "You...don't have to...do this, for me."

"Who said I'm doing this for you?" A2 asked. Somehow, it was easier, around 6O. She could say things more, and feel them less. Her heart was steady, in no way the deafening beat it was around 2B. Maybe because 6O herself scared her less. Maybe because she was sweeter, and simple. Maybe just because A2 hadn't hurt her yet, hadn't stabbed her through the heart. 

6O didn't say another word. But she leaned closer, closing her eyes ever so slightly. Waiting. Like she needed A2 to prove the intent behind the implications.

Maybe this was a stupid idea, maybe it'd hurt her or 6O or both of them, maybe it'd even hurt 2B. But, A2 leaned closer too. Lips brushing against the operator's. There wasn't any words to the sound 6O danced to, but A2 found the tune on the tip of her tongue. And A2 kissed her. Gentler than she ever assumed she could have been, careful and shallow. She felt 6O melt, warm breath against her lips, and a sound like the implication of a word A2 wasn't ready to hear. And 6O kissed her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will end every once of these chapters with a bittersweet conversation and a smooch and no one can fucking stop me.
> 
> Dfgjhdbj but in all seriousness I hope this chapter doesn't feel formulaic. I do wanna differentiate this story, I just keep finding myself hitting the same beats on complete accident.
> 
> I will say, there's a lot in this chapter that's drawn from my experience with someone very close to me (she's not into Nier, but I won't say her name just in case she decides to read this – though I'm pretty sure a lot of the words will ring familiar). She's a trusted friend, closer _than_ a friend, even, and she's perpetually one of the sweetest gals I've ever been blessed enough to know. But sometimes it feels like barely anyone else sees her for the wonderful, compassionate, genuine person she is. Watching someone you love struggle with loneliness is never easy, I guess. This chapter isn't anywhere close to 1-for-1 of me and her, but I found myself thinking of her a lot while I wrote it.


End file.
